- [Woody Samms, in Superman's body, talking about Clark]
- Woody Samms: He's been here. You've talked to him. Tell me what you know.
- [laser beams a picture frame]
- Woody Samms: Come on. Make this easy on yourself, and him.
- [laser beams coat rack]
- Woody Samms: I'm not fooling around here lady! Now tell me where he is!
- [laser beams plant]
- Lois Lane: It doesn't matter what you do to me. He'll find you. And he'll stop you.
- Woody Samms: [chuckles] He's gonna stop Superman?
- Lois Lane: He is Superman.
- Woody Samms: Not anymore Lady. I'm Superman now!
- Lois Lane: You'll never be Superman. It's not the suit. It's not even the powers. It's something you'll never have. Character. To be Superman you have to care about something. Something other than yourself
- Lois Lane: [Taking off Clark's glasses] I can't believe the first time I looked into your eyes I didn't instantly know you were the man I'd spend my life with.
- Asabi: [realizing Woody is in Superman's body] Can it be? It is you! This is the body you've stolen? Are you mad? You couldn't settle for, I don't know, Michael Jordan?
- Clark Kent: Sorry about having to do this on our day off Honey. But I promise you I'll make it up to you tonight. How does dinner at Le Bartone's sound? Candlelight, violins...
- Lois Lane: Why don't we light some candles here and I'll go out later and pick up some stakes and a bottle of wine, clothing optional?
- Clark Kent: Ooh, you are making me weak.
- Lois Lane: Wait 'til tonight, kryptonite's got nothing on me.
- Becky Samms: I can't believe what you're saying! I'm just not sure I like the idea of my father taking over the body of a mobster. I mean, that means you'll be a mobster! You're sort of bad enough now.