- Lois Lane: [seeing the officiate at their wedding] The Archbishop!
- Lex Luthor: Yes, I'm sorry, the Pope had a previous engagement.
- Lex Luthor: [to a distracted Lois] A perfect evening. I don't think I've ever had better garlic chicken. I think that Chef Andre deserves a raise.
- Lois Lane: Mmm.
- Lex Luthor: Mmm. And a magnificent production of Othello. I particularly like the black and white sets; I thought they were very inventive.
- Lois Lane: Mmm hm.
- Lex Luthor: Did you know that Shakespeare didn't write Othello, that it turns out it was actually written by Dr. Seuss?
- Lois Lane: Hmm!
- Lex Luthor: Hmm.
- Lois Lane: I can't help but think that you bought the Planet in the first place because of me.
- Lex Luthor: I did. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I bought the Planet out of some lovesick attempt to bring us closer together, to bring my life in tune with yours. But ironically, it wasn't necessary; here we are together. We're meant to be together. It was fate. We don't even have to change the monograms on our towels.
- Inspector Henderson: You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be...
- Lex Luthor: Will you shut up? I can afford a thousand attorneys. I'll have your badge - I'll have your head for this. Get me the governor on the phone.
- [starts screaming]
- Lex Luthor: Get me the President! Get him! On the phone!
- Lex Luthor: [at their wedding after being discovered] Lois, I am sorry, we'll have to take a raincheck, something has come up.