- Lou Grant: [to Charlie] If you don't get back on the ball, I'm gonna end up with your job and I don't want it!
- Charlie Hume: You know who my closest friend is? My oldest and closest friend?
- Lou Grant: Me.
- Charlie Hume: Oh, right. I guess I mean my closest Los Angeles friend.
- Lou Grant: Me.
- Charlie Hume: Lou, how 'bout my oldest and closest friend who isn't you?
- Lou Grant: [to Orrin] Have I ever shown you my back door? It's really a wonderful back door. It opens right onto an alley. You and Mitch are gonna love it.
- [Mrs. Pynchon has been annoyed at the delays in getting a new religion editor]
- Lou Grant: [Walking into Charlie Hume's office] Charlie, I know it's late. But can we go over this list of people for religion editor? I don't think we have any serious candidates. But Mrs. Pynchon just sent down a snippy little note about waiting for puffs of white smoke to come up the stairwell.