- Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: By the way, it's not July 4th. It's like, August 10th.
- Dorsett: Whaddya know? I've been plastered for 5 weeks! That's a new record!
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: In Honolulu, maybe, but not here.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: [pouring beer into a bowl with Rice Krispies, then smiling] Listen to that... snap, crackle and burp.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Pierce, what's going on here? I've been losing people all day.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: It's very simple, Colonel. We quit the war.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Uh huh. When you quit, you're supposed to give notice.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Oh, Colonel, I found Hawkeye. He is over at Rosie's.