Quotes
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Col. Potter : [singing in the shower] I like to go swimmin' with bow-legged women and swim between their legs... swim between their legs... swim between their legs...
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Col. Potter : [On the rumor of a bug out] Crock of beans!
Major Franklin Marion Burns : You called me, Colonel?
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Col. Potter : Next you'll sell me your mother!
Cho Man Chin : Sold out.
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Col. Potter : You people - get the phone, Radar - you people have been panicking over a rumor that says the 4077 is bugging out. That is grade-A 100% bull cookies! You service people should know by now that scuttlebutt is as common as cooties in your skivvies! My apologies to those among us of the feminine gland, and our resident celibate, Father Mulcahy.
Father Mulcahy : Thank you, sir.
Col. Potter : My pleasure. Now, you take World War II. My unit got the word that Nazis, dressed as Eskimos, had overrun Seattle. Incredible as it seems, half my unit believed it, and began hoarding canned salmon. Now then, I have spoken personally to General Hamilton at Headquarters. I've known Bink Hamilton for going on 30 years. I am the godfather of his grandson, Sherman Potter Hamilton. 15 years old, and can name 24 of the 48 states. Already has an appointment to West Point. The general has assured me, there is nothing to worry about. M*A*S*H 4077 is definitely...
[Radar hands him a message]
Col. Potter : bugging out in three hours! Bug out!
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Col. Sherman Potter : [Referring to Frank as he orders people around during the bug out] Where the hell did he get that whistle, anyway?
B.J. : Same place he got his diploma: box of Cracker Jacks.
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Maj. Burns : You sent for me, sir?
Col. Potter : Where have you been?
Maj. Burns : When you sent for me, I thought you were kidding.
Col. Potter : I don't kid, skeezix. I called you to put you in charge of this bug-out.
Maj. Burns : Me?
Col. Potter : No choice, you're second-in-command.
Maj. Burns : Hot diggity dog!
Col. Potter : I'm going up in the chopper to scout a new location. You ever bugged out before?
Maj. Burns : Oh, no sir, not intentionally. Is this a drill, colonel?
Col. Potter : No, it's the real McCoy. Keep an eye on the patients. Sometimes we lose them on these moves.
Maj. Burns : A human life is more important than a kitchen stove.
Col. Potter : Don't recite, listen. Load in this order:
[Frank takes out a notepad]
Col. Potter : 1 - pharmacy, 2 - lab, 3 - x-ray, 4 - pre-op, 5 - OR following the last stitch, 6 - HQ, 7 - mess tent, 8 - post-op.
Maj. Burns : [writing] One - pharmacy...
Col. Potter : Saddle up!
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Radar : Incoming wounded, sir!
Col. Potter : [has just come from the shower] Get my pants!
Radar : Underwear?
Col. Potter : I'll fake it... wounded come before personal chaffing.
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Col. Sherman Potter : We're here on orders of I Corps, General Irving R. Hamilton commanding.
Korean Woman : Ohh, Binky.
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Col. Sherman Potter : This is the army. We don't buy land. If we want it, we take it.
