Quotes
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Hey, put out that cigarette. There's a lot of ether in there.
The Sergeant : Hey, I'm a sergeant, fella.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : And I'm a captain, fella. Which means if we're blown up, I'll fly higher than you. So put it out.
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The Sergeant : Hey, I fell asleep. Where can I find my buddy?
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Your buddy's got a name?
The Sergeant : Bender. Jack Bender.
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Try the hospital.
The Sergeant : Where's that?
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Two doors down. It's a beautiful white building with the statue of Lionel Barrymore in front.