M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Give and Take (1983)

William Christopher: Father Francis Mulcahy

Quotes 

• Father Mulcahy : Winchester, you are a dirty stinker!

  Charles : Put that ba... What?

  B.J. : Don't listen to him, Charles. Nobody takes the word of a priest.

  Father Mulcahy : I've been doing a little investigating and I've discovered that this belongs to you!

  [gives collection ledger back to Charles] 

  Charles : Ah, the charity ledger. Well, it did belong to me, Father, but it's long since passed from my hands.

  Father Mulcahy : Well, it's back! Major, it is a very low and unscrupulous person who abdicates the opportunity to do good work for his fellow man. Tell me, are you such a person?

  Charles : Certainly not. Every Christmas I give $2 to the postman.

  Father Mulcahy : My, my, you certainly give till it hurts.

  Hawkeye : Well, what do you expect, Father? He's the kind of person who would give a drowning man a glass of water.

  Father Mulcahy : All right then, Winchester, this is what it comes down to: this job has been passed on to me, and I'm not going to do it. So when General Crenshaw gets this empty ledger back, he's not going to feel so charitable. Not to mention Colonel Potter. And the man they are going to hang is the man whose name is on the assignment sheet. And guess who that is? You'll be busted so low you'll be saying, "Yes, sir," to Klinger!

  [storms out] 

  Charles : [forlorn]  Gentlemen... Have you ever considered that there are people less fortunate than yourselves? People who need your financial assistance? People... such as me?

  Hawkeye : Shh!