Lt. Colonel Henry Blake: Colonel Andropolis has the thing flown in all the way from Greece, and now the damned lamb has flown the coop!
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: Now that's a pretty neat trick.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake: U.N. Command in Seoul's called. Boy! Am I in Dutch with the Greeks.
Captain John McIntyre: Heh, heh, heh, heh.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: The man's a fountain of straight lines.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake: Go ahead and joke. I'm in trouble up to my whatsis. One more chewing out and my belly button will cave in.
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly: Uh, Sir?
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake: Not now, Radar!
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly: Uh, it's about the lamb, Colonel.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake: Where is it?
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly: Well, uh. I don't want you to get in trouble, Sir. But, uh, it's been set free.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake: Well what horse's pa-toot did that?
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly: Um.
[pause]
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly: You did, Sir. You gave him a medical discharge this afternoon.
Captain John McIntyre: [reading form] Private Charles Lamb.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake: Radar! You tricked me!
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly: Well, I didn't wanna see him killed, Sir. I'd rather be barbecued myself with an apple shoved up my face!
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake: I gave a discharge to a sheep!
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly: He's on his way to Tokyo now.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: On Bo Peep Airlines.
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly: A buddy of mine will reroute him to Iowa to my folks. I already radioed them. They're expecting him.
Captain John McIntyre: He can sleep in your room.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: Your pants will just fit him.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake: I think I'm losing my mind.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: Don't fight it, Henry.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake: I've got Command on my tail! And a hospital full of Greeks waiting on a lamb that's on a plane on his way to Iowa to become Radar's little brother!