- Hawkeye tries to travel to Seoul in order to visit Nurse Gilmore for the weekend. Charles tapes an angry message to his influential parents back home in Boston, asking for their help in getting him reassigned stateside.
- Klinger delivers mail; the stock market is in decline and BJ's Peggy gets poison oak. Nurse Nancy Gilmore, recently disengaged (no longer about to marry a Navy dentist) asks Hawkeye to meet her in Seoul. The Boston baked buffoon whines to mummy and Daddy about the 4077 and Korea via tape recorder. BJ and Hawkeye pull a big prank with diminishing returns.—LA-Lawyer
- Klinger delivers mail; the stock market is in decline (Winchester family owns stock) and BJ's Peggy gets poison oak.
Nurse Nancy Gilmore, recently disengaged (no longer about to marry a Navy dentist) asks Hawkeye (via mail) to meet her in Seoul. But Hawkeye is Officer of the Day all weekend and BJ is stuck in OR, Hawkeye has no option but to beg Winchester to cover for him. He offers to cover for Winchester for the next 3 days. Netiher aftershave nor money can buy Winchester. Hawkeye says the woman is beautiful and witty. Her laughter is like a nightingale. Seeing his passion, Winchester eventually agrees, and Hawkeye makes all preps (socks, shirts, pajamas (which he steals from Winchester) and so on) but is not able to go as wounded come in just as he is about to depart. After 12 hours in surgery, Hawkeye is finally able to leave but sleeps on his cot while waiting for the jeep. Klinger lets him be.
The Boston baked buffoon whines to mummy and Daddy about the 4077 and Korea via tape recorder. He calls Korea either too cold or unbearably hot. To get out, he has even contemplated shooting himself in the foot. Winchester is posing as a model for Potter to earn enough brownie points so that he gets sent back to Tokyo General. He tells Potter that his skills are being wasted away in the meatball surgery environment at the 4077th. Potter doesn't intend to lift even a finger to get him transferred. Winchester also talks about how Radar really runs the entire camp by arranging everything and everybody. Hawkeye, BJ and the nurses listen to Radar and he carries a lot of weight at the unit. Winchester tires to buy a phone call to Tokyo by giving Radar a case of grape Nehi, but takes it away when Radar tells him its prohibited by Potter. Winchester takes the case away with him. He describes Margaret as part seductress and part Atilla the Hun. Houlihan is all praise for Winchester's surgical skills and admires him sky high. She even tries to seduce Winchester right after surgery by pretending to have foreign matter in her eye, and having Winchester come closer and blow air into it. Winchester describes Mulcahy as the spiritual guide of the unit. Mulcahy says he prayed for the patients that were saved by Winchester in surgery, thereby claiming some part of the credit in saving them. Winchester describes BJ more kindly as the sanest person in the outfit, not knowing BJ's record in playing practical pranks on everyone at the 4077th. He begs his parents to do whatever it takes to get him out of MASH and Korea
BJ and Hawkeye pull a big prank with diminishing returns. They swap Winchester's regular clothes with oversized ones to make Winchester think that he has lost weight. So Winchester starts wolfing down food even in the mess tent. Then they swap his oversized clothes for undersized ones. Winchester goes into a tailspin of diet and exercise.
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