Midsomer Murders (TV Series)
Faithful unto Death (1998)
John Nettles: DCI Tom Barnaby
Photos
Quotes
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Elfrida Molfrey : [Barnaby has influenced Elfrida and Bunny to get rid of their marijuana plants] You really are a most charming and gracious man, and if I were forty years younger, I'd take a real flyer at you!
D.C.I. Barnaby : If you were forty years younger, Miss Molfrey, I'd charge you with supplying cannabis.
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D.C.I. Barnaby : You really don't have a soft pedal when it comes to the English language, do you, Troy?
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D.C.I. Barnaby : [holding a coconut] This is a very moving moment for me, George. It's the first time in my life I've ever won anything. Thank you.
Dr. Bullard : It'll be rotten inside, I guarantee.
D.C.I. Barnaby : You are just jealous because I'ave got a coconut and you haven't.
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Joyce Barnaby : It seems the only honest people in Morton Fendle are Bunny and Elfrida.
Cully Barnaby : Apart from their draw, that is.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Yeah. What?
Cully Barnaby : The marijuana. He grows it in the greenhouse. What they don't smoke themselves he puts in the Bunny cakes.
[pause]
Cully Barnaby : I thought you knew and were turning a blind eye.
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[DCI Barnaby and Sgt. Troy are discussing the case while Troy is driving]
D.C.I. Barnaby : I'll tell you what does frighten me though.
Sergeant Troy : What's that?
D.C.I. Barnaby : Your driving has improved. I saw you look in the mirror.
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Gray Patterson : Why are you here, Inspector?
D.C.I. Barnaby : Alan Hollingsworth. Yesterday you threatened to kill him.
Gray Patterson : It's just words. Heat of the moment.
D.C.I. Barnaby : That's when most murders occur.
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D.C.I. Barnaby : What line of business were you in?
Harry Vellacott : Have a guess. I'm overweight. I drink too much. I smoke too much. I eat too much. I'm divorced and the kids don't want to know me. A jaundiced view of human nature. You're right, I was a copper.
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Sergeant Troy : [after leaving Gray Patterson's house] I hate blokes like that. Silver spoon in his gob. Gregorio Falloni under his armpits.
D.C.I. Barnaby : What?
Sergeant Troy : Deodorant. 80 quid a bottle.
D.C.I. Barnaby : What did you do think of that room?
Sergeant Troy : Poncey.
D.C.I. Barnaby : No school photos. No pictures with mum and dad. That is a man trying to lose his past. And if it's any help, he's no more of a toff than you are.
Sergeant Troy : Grew up on the streets, did he?
D.C.I. Barnaby : Yeah, where else did he learn how to separate people from their money?
Sergeant Troy : Or women from their husbands.
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D.C.I. Barnaby : [after ingesting the Bunny cakes] You know, 10 minutes in your company and I feel... better. That's the only way to describe it, better.
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D.C.I. Barnaby : Nevertheless, we can forget it all happened. For a price.
Gray Patterson : What?
D.C.I. Barnaby : More, of course, than you offered Cath Bullard to push your plans.
Gray Patterson : I never did any such thing!
D.C.I. Barnaby : She's my friend. I believe her. Or perhaps it was of those heat of the moment things again.
Gray Patterson : Yeah well, now that you come to mention it...
D.C.I. Barnaby : Unlike the threat you made, which to me sounded very prepared.
Sergeant Troy : If people don't get what's due them, others get hurt. You have such a lovely face. I'm sure you want to keep it.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Any man who says that to a woman is either desperate, or downright evil. Which are you?
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Sergeant Troy : They've already found it, empty.
Nigel Anderson : Then he's paid up.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Either that or you took the money after you killed him.
Nigel Anderson : No, no, no. I only wanted 1,500. My job was on the line. The money was borrowed, you see.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Borrowed?
Nigel Anderson : From the brewery.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Oh, Nigel, you nicked it from the till. Oh, good god. From pompous ass to petty thief just like that, eh?
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Sergeant Troy : [about to go in through a suspect's window] Shouldn't we have a warrant for this?
D.C.I. Barnaby : Yes, we should. You first. I'll hold your coat.
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Sergeant Troy : No tears, your friend Felicity.
D.C.I. Barnaby : What do you mean, 'my friend'?
Sergeant Troy : I thought you liked her.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Where was she when Brenda was killed, huh?
Sergeant Troy : Shopping, she says. Her old man was gardening.
[pause]
Sergeant Troy : No, women don't kill their daughters, do they?
D.C.I. Barnaby : You mean you wish they didn't.
Sergeant Troy : Yeah, she did grass on her husband. Off-loaded them both.
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[last lines]
Sergeant Troy : [answers phone] Hello. Just a sec. Sir?
D.C.I. Barnaby : What?
Sergeant Troy : Sarah Lawton.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Who?
Sergeant Troy : Sarah Lawton. Do you remember? She wants to talk to you.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Hello.
[smiles]
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D.C.I. Barnaby : How have they been getting on lately, Alan and Simone?
Elfrida Molfrey : Oh, Inspector. We don't listen in keyholes.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Oh, come on, Miss Molfrey, of course you do.
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Cully Barnaby : Hey, Dad. That old lady over there, the mutton dressed as lamb, do you know her?
D.C.I. Barnaby : That's a terrible thing to say, even though it's true. No, I don't.
Cully Barnaby : No, she's that actress, Elfrida somebody. You know, come on. What's her name?
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D.C.I. Barnaby : You waited until Ms. Molfrey was safely asleep and then you let yourself into Alan's house.
Sarah Lawton : How did I manage to get in? Did I break down a door, or did I use a kitchen window like the police do?
Sergeant Troy : [Holds up a key in a clear bag] The key to the back door. Simone's key. I found it amongst your underwear.
Simone Hollingsworth : Hmmmph.
Sergeant Troy : Strange place to keep it.
Sarah Lawton : Strange place to look for it.
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D.C.I. Barnaby : I'm going to clean up that cesspit known as Morton Fendle. I'll have that Gray Patterson for starters, for bribing Cathy Bullard.
Joyce Barnaby : She seems fine about it now.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Well, okay then. Reg Buckley, hm, for skimming the milk fund to buy 3,000 pounds worth of hi-fi.
Cully Barnaby : 3,000?
D.C.I. Barnaby : 3,000. You know what ours cost?
Joyce Barnaby : 432 pounds.
D.C.I. Barnaby : 432 pounds from Comet. Now what can he hear that I can't, huh?
Cully Barnaby : So you don't think Reg has been punished enough for losing his daughter? Depends on your view of daughters, I suppose.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Well, at least let me have the Andersons. If self-importance is not a crime, it should be. Plus, they had their fingers in the till.
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D.C.I. Barnaby : [to Troy] Get in touch with the Fraud Squad and see if they're interested in a fiddle in Morton Fendle.
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Dr. Bullard : I thought I should let you know, Nigel Anderson, our local wooden spoon, has called a meeting lunch time today, his pub.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Oh? What's the agenda?
Dr. Bullard : How can those who put money into the mill project get it back.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Yes. I can tell you the answer to that right now, they won't.
Dr. Bullard : What do you mean we won't?
D.C.I. Barnaby : Oh. Not you, too, George. How are the mighty shafted.
[to Troy]
D.C.I. Barnaby : Hold it, mon frere. I think we should go to that meeting.
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D.C.I. Barnaby : Simone and Gray Patterson. Is there anything in that?
Elfrida Molfrey : If I were 50 years younger, she wouldn't have stood a chance.