- Beauregard: I sent Beaker to get the power saw.
- Kermit the Frog: Is that wise?
- Beauregard: Oh, sure, he's okay.
- Kermit the Frog: He's dumber than you are.
- Beauregard: [offended] He is not!
- Announcer: [narrating] So ends part one. If you can stand it, stay tuned for part two.
- Miss Piggy: [turns to camera] Don't.
- Scooter: Elke Sommer. Fifteen seconds to curtain, Miss Sommer.
- Elke Sommer: Eh, thank you, Scooter. Uh, listen, I hate to complain, but...
- [clears throat]
- Elke Sommer: ... there's a man eating my make-up table.
- Scooter: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Fred! You're supposed to eat the wardrobe!
- Fred: [to Elke Sommer] Sorry.
- [moves to the wardrobe]
- Elke Sommer: [visibly disturbed] Wardrobe. That makes more sense, eh? I guess.
- Elke Sommer: [during goodnights, Elke runs off screen after Beaker loses control of a chainsaw] Is it always like this?