The Muppet Show (TV Series)

Gilda Radner (1978)

Richard Hunt: Scooter, Beaker, Wayne, Statler, Pigs, Whatnot, Muppaphones

Quotes 

• Statler : Why did they want the igloo?

  Waldorf : I don't know. Maybe somebody must have broken their ig.

• Dr. Bunsen Honeydew : There. I have just placed on Gilda's forehead a single, teensy, weensy drop of Muppet's new super adhesive. Now we'll wait a moment for it to get tacky.

  Statler : What are we waiting for?

  Waldorf : For it to get tacky.

  Statler : Another first for this show.

  Waldorf : How's that?

  Statler : It's the first time we've had to wait for it to get tacky.

• Waldorf : Well, that must be the glue, all right.

  Statler : Well, what glue is that?

  Waldorf : The one they mend the ig with.

• Statler : Good night!

  Waldorf : So long!

  [they suddenly notice that their hands are stuck to the railings of their box seats] 

  Statler , Waldorf : Oh, no!

  [struggle to get unstuck] 

• Statler : You know, usually, operetta music puts me right to sleep.

  [sees Waldorf asleep] 

  Statler : You too, huh?

• Wayne : [missing his cue]  Sorry I was late. I had to change the bus across town, and the traffic was terrible.

  Miss Piggy : [holding onto a cliff edge by her fingers]  Never mind. Just get me out of here.

  Wayne : [noticing Uncle Deadly's boots]  Say, I know those boots. Weren't you a flamenco dancer in Kansas City?

  Uncle Deadly : Why yes, I was.

  Wayne : Harry's Boom Boom Room?

  Uncle Deadly : You caught my act?

  Wayne : I could never figure out how you did that passe double thing, though.

  Miss Piggy : Paso doble.

  Uncle Deadly : Oh, quite simple, my boy. Quite simple. Music, maestro, please.

  Miss Piggy : [exasperated]  Music?

  [Uncle Deadly starts to dance. Miss Piggy turns to the camera in disbelief. Uncle Deadly's feet come dangerously close to her hands] 

  Miss Piggy : What? Hey, hey. Cool it up there.

  Uncle Deadly : Now to the Passionato del Thunderdoor, you give it an extra little flourish.

  Miss Piggy : Watch it! Hey!

  Wayne : [to Uncle Deadly]  Aha! You mean like this?

  [He starts dancing as well] 

  Miss Piggy : Whoo-hoo, hee-ha, hold it. Easy! Down, boy. Hold it. Hoo, hey. Cool it.

  Uncle Deadly : Almost, almost. No, more like...

  [He shows Wayne the dance again. Wayne joins in] 

  Miss Piggy : Hey! Hey! Hey, Deadly... Hey, wait, hey.

  [Wayne steps on Piggy's hands, causing her to lose her grip and fall off the cliff screaming. Uncle Deadly and Wayne congratulate each other on their dancing] 

  Miss Piggy : I suppose you think that's funny!