- Network Head: [Garth is singing "If I Were a Rich Man"]
- [to Clifford]
- Network Head: What the... I thought... you said he was going to do a country song.
- Rizzo the rat: Yeah, but he didn't say what country.
- Kermit the Frog: I just talked to Garth, and he promised to go out there and do a song.
- Clifford: Aw Kerm, that's great! If you weren't a bug-eyed spindly-legged froggy, I'd give you a big kiss on your knobby little head.
- Kermit the Frog: And if you weren't a purple catfish-faced multicolored mop top, I'd let ya.
- Rizzo the rat: Aw, ain't friendship a beautiful thing?
- Craniac: Captain, the bridge is filling with bubbles!
- Captain Pighead: Yes. Everyone to your anti-bubble stations!
- Craniac: [They all slip and fall] The soap has left a slick film on the floor!
- Captain Pighead: Magnifique! I love to watch slick films.
- Craniac: Captain, the aliens are coming aboard!
- Miss Piggy: Remember: these creatures are from another planet. Their appearance may shock you and terrify you.
- Craniac: [to Capt. Pighead] I doubt it. We've seen her without her makeup.
- Miss Piggy: Very funny, face-for-brains.