My Family (TV Series)

Return of the Prodigal Prat (2003)

Kris Marshall: Nick Harper

Quotes 

• Nick : Look, here's the deal. I've got a plan to move back in, but you cannot tell the mother or the father.

  Abi : So, what's your plan?

  Nick : I just told you.

• Nick : You have made a will?

  Ben : I have made a will, yeah. It consists of two words; second word is 'you'.

• Nick : Is this lasagne or fish?

  Michael Harper : What does it smell like?

  Nick : [Sniffs]  Fish.

  Michael Harper : Then it's lasagne.

• Michael Harper : Nick, what's dad's best quality?

  Nick : [Thinks]  His feet.

  Michael Harper : Forget I asked.

  Nick : Have you seen his feet? They're exquisite!

• Susan : Nick, it was your idea to move out.

  Nick : No, it was mine. Credit where credit's due, Susan.

• Nick : So, that's it, then? You're just kicking me out?

  Ben : No, not just. I did it months ago.

  Nick : Why don't you just kick Michael out? He's the black sheep!

  Nick : You're all black sheep!

• Nick : Mum! Look, I'm sorry, but I just want my room back the way it was: with me in it.

  Susan : Nick, you've got your own place now.

  Nick : Yeah, but it's not the same. I'm paying for it!