Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Agent for H.A.R.M. (1997)

Bill Corbett: Crow T. Robot, Observer, Judge

Quotes 

• Adam : We were just saying goodbye.

  Crow T. Robot : With our reproductive organs.

• Ava : Are you coming or do I swim alone?

  Crow T. Robot : Yes and yes

• Crow T. Robot : Ah, it's the Eastern Europe part of Southern California.

• Crow T. Robot : Damn you, Shel Silverstein!

• Crow T. Robot : [as Adam]  Watch me open the HELL out of this door!

• Doctor : Adam, he's gone.

  Crow T. Robot : I mean he's there, but he's dead.

• Crow : [Crow's defense testimony]  This thing on? Okay. Hi! I'm Crow T. Robot and I'm here to tell you that Mike Nelson is innocent. Mike Nelson is 200 % f - -ing not guilty. And if you bastards don't goddamn find him innocent, then you can just f - -ing kiss my fat f - -ing ass. And that f - -ing goes for your bulls - - court system, too! Mike, I'm so motherf - -ing sorry I couldn't f - -ing be there for this f - -ing s - -ty really bogus trial, man. But let me goddamn tell ya something, Nelson. If I was there, I'd f - -ing kick everyone's fat stupid motherf - -ing behinds and then cram it up their f - -ing ass. Anyway, Mike, buddy, I hope this s - - helps. Take care, Mike.

  Bobo : [pause]  I'm sitting next to a free man!

• [Dr. Stefanik looks out the window to see the villains staring back at him] 

  Crow T. Robot : Staring at the window for five hours finally paid off.

• Mike Nelson : I really like rice.

  Tom Servo : EXXXXTREMMMMEEEEEEEE RIIIIIIIIIIIIIICEEEEEEEE! Thermonuclearrrrrr protectionnnnn woooooo!

  Crow T. Robot : See, Mike? Isn't rice better when it's extreme?

• Mike Nelson : Starring has beens and never wases.

  Crow T. Robot : With Bob Marley and Prince!

• Crow T. Robot : Old guy? There's another old guy here to see you.

• Crow T. Robot : [hearing knocks]  Hm, that could be any one of the other two characters.

• Adam : You bet your nose they'll be back.

  Crow T. Robot : [as Doctor Stephanik]  Must I wager my nose that they will be back?

• Mike Nelson : [as Adam's enters Stefanik's ransacked laboratory]  This is the room of a man whose niece's boob I just brushed.

  Tom Servo : [Adam examines the pan of goo and a syringe on the table]  Heroin and fudge, what could it mean?

  Crow T. Robot : [Adam picks up the syringe and examines it]  I don't like shots. They're owie.

  Mike Nelson : [as Adam]  I wish I had the slightest idea of what the hell I was doing.