Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Agent for H.A.R.M. (1997)

Michael J. Nelson: Mike Nelson

Quotes 

• [watching "Agent for H.A.R.M."] 

  Adam : Come on, let's head to the judo range.

  Mike Nelson : The judo *range*?

• Mike Nelson : Here's the windup... and there's the smarm!

• Mike Nelson : I really like rice.

  Tom Servo : EXXXXTREMMMMEEEEEEEE RIIIIIIIIIIIIIICEEEEEEEE! Thermonuclearrrrrr protectionnnnn woooooo!

  Crow T. Robot : See, Mike? Isn't rice better when it's extreme?

• Mike Nelson : I am mighty elderly man!

• Mike Nelson : Starring has beens and never wases.

  Crow T. Robot : With Bob Marley and Prince!

• Mike Nelson : So H.A.R.M. stands for hot and ready, man

• Mike Nelson : She's got fiber optic hair!

• Adam : Well my job is to keep the apple pie on the table and nobody asks me how i do it.

  Mike Nelson : [as doctor]  I'll just need an hour to figure out your metaphor.

• Mike Nelson : Hang on, my watch wants to talk to you.

• Ava : My uncle gave it to me for protection.

  Mike Nelson : My uncle's Ted Nugent.

• Mike Nelson : [after actor exited morgue]  Boy, it's like a morgue in there.

• [another H.A.R.M. agent shows up] 

  Adam : Who are you?

  Agent : I'm from the Agency...

  Mike Nelson : They want you to *go* somewhere!

• Mike Nelson : [as Adam's enters Stefanik's ransacked laboratory]  This is the room of a man whose niece's boob I just brushed.

  Tom Servo : [Adam examines the pan of goo and a syringe on the table]  Heroin and fudge, what could it mean?

  Crow T. Robot : [Adam picks up the syringe and examines it]  I don't like shots. They're owie.

  Mike Nelson : [as Adam]  I wish I had the slightest idea of what the hell I was doing.