Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Gamera (1991)

Joel Hodgson: Joel Robinson

Quotes 

• Joel Robinson : Doesn't he kinda look like Godzilla with a backpack on?

• [Kenny claims that Gamera is good in spite of the destruction he's caused] 

  Joel Robinson : What he's done today has been a benefit to all of us.

• Joel Robinson : What is it that you hate so much about Kenny?

  Crow T. Robot : Oh, he's a child of priviledge and the whole world revolves around him and stuff and he can walk into a restricted maximum security military situation and they treat him like an adult just because he befriended a stupid old turtle.

  Tom Servo : Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he never gets into trouble even though his friendship with Gamera is causing the death of *millions*. And he skips school whenever he wants to. And he never so much as gets sent to his room.

• Narrator : The city is off limits to civilians. Not even the press is allowed to enter the area.

  Joel Robinson : Kenny, however, is free to move about.

• Joel Robinson : Kids go running for the rich taste of Gamera.

• Pilot : What is your name? What is your designation?

  Crow T. Robot : Are you known for your work in the theater?

  [the dark plane fires two missiles out of its back] 

  Joel Robinson : Uh, you lost your muffler!

  [the American plane fires all six of its missiles] 

  Joel Robinson : Just a couple.

  [the dark plane explodes] 

  Tom Servo : And that's just a warning!

• [Last lines] 

  Joel Robinson : So, what do you think, sirs? And thanks for not sending us such a bad movie this time.

  Dr. Clayton Forrester : What do you mean "thank you"?

  [groans] 

  Dr. Clayton Forrester : Frank, file this and give Joel a shock to the shammies.

  Frank : I live to serve you, my master.

  [we cut to black] 

  Joel Robinson : No! Not a shock to the shamm-e-ies!

• Joel Robinson : ["Translating" Morse Code]  If you're not wearing any underwear... uh, smile.

• Kenny's Guardian : What's all this food for?

  Joel Robinson : Sauron, the Dark Lord.

• Joel Robinson : Man, they've been on that plane for 48 hours.

  Tom Servo : Luckily, the in-flight film is "Berlin Alexanderplatz."

• Scientist : [on Gamera]  It has the power to convert organic matter into inorganic.

  Joel Robinson : Like McDonald's!