- Betty: [about Fran] My god, she's sleeping with everybody!
- Romeo Actor: [snobbishly] Watch. Next year she'll have her own sitcom.
- Margaret 'Maggie' Sheffield: Just give me one good reason why I can't go to the Hamptons.
- Maxwell Sheffield: I won't let you. Margaret, you're much too young to go away for the weekend.
- Margaret 'Maggie' Sheffield: By the time Juliet was my age she had already gotten married, had sex, and died.
- Maxwell Sheffield: Well... now you see what happens when you don't listen to your father.
- Betty: I just don't get how she got the part
- Romeo Actor: She must be sleeping with him.
- Betty: I slept with the guy and I only got two lines.
- Romeo Actor: I got Romeo.
- Fran Fine: [swinging from her harness and knocks the whole set down] Hey fellas! I'm OOOOOOOOOOO-KAY!