- Philippe: One thing a Frenchman can spot a mile away is a cuckold.
- Maxwell Sheffield: Oh really? You know, I would have thought that would have been a plate of stinky cheese!
- Philippe: Limey!
- Maxwell Sheffield: Frog!
- Philippe: The only good thing to come out of your country is Andrew Lloyd Webber!
- Fran: [Fran gets in between them to prevent a fight] Hey! Hey! Hey! You know, I had a dream like this once.
- C.C. Babcock: Philippe and Nanny Fine are perfect for one another. You know how the French love a fine wine. Well now he can listen to one.
- [mimicking Fran's nasal voice]
- C.C. Babcock: 24 hours a day!
- [laughs maniacally]
- Niles: [to C.C] No sour grapes. You could have foreign men worship you too. Go to India, you'd be sacred.