- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: You will not believe what just happened to me!
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [not looking up] Some loose woman that you've never met before has agreed to go back to your place, and participate in some deviant sexual behavior.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: What gave me away, the drool?
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: [after Bob has described himself as an Anglophile] I have heard enough!
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: Bull, an Anglophile is someone who studies the British.
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: Oh. I thought it was someone who stuffs liver in his socks and looks at pictures of Jo Anne Worley. What do you call that?
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: A Worley Bird.
- Detective Costas: [after locating Bob at Christine's party] We're keeping him under protective custody. There's a fifty-thousand-dollar price tag on his head. Right now there's a professional hit man parked in a car across the street. A hit man who wouldn't mind at all splattering the brains of every person in this room until he got the guy he was after.
- [goes to the table]
- Detective Costas: Is this bean dip for everybody?
- Detective Costas: Stay away from the doors. Stay away from the windows - and those devilled eggs, they're gonna repeat on you like you wouldn't believe...
- Maria: My name is Maria, I work up in filing. It's very boring, I hope you're not... boring.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: How does a little red wine, and gravity boots for two sound?
- Maria: It's a start.
- [grabs his hand and writes on it with her pen]
- Maria: Pick me up here after work. Wear something tear-away.
- [leaves]
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: My name's Dan.
- Maria: Who cares?
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: [shrugs] Right!