- Dan Fielding: [Dan is calling around for a Halloween costume. Listens to a clerk on the phone. To Florence] What's a Smurf?
- Florence Kleiner: Imagine your cat threw up a blue hairball that talked.
- Kimberley Daniels: Well...
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: Uh, lets cut out the formalities. What can I do, to make you fall hopelessly in love with me?
- Kimberley Daniels: Direct me to traffic court.
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: Sir, I finished my pumpkin.
- [Turns pumpkin around]
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: Bull, it looks like you just punched it with your fist.
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: I did.
- Mac Robinson: Why didn't you use a knife, Bull?
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: Hey, what a great idea.
- Kimberley Daniels: I swear. I just had one of the most increditable experiences of my LIFE!
- Dan Fielding: A little nooner at the "Hung Jury Hotel".
- Christine Sullivan: Oh, Dan!
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: I believe the lady was referring to our buggy ride through Central Park.
- Christine Sullivan: [to Dan] Some people have class.
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: IT WAS A BABY BUGGY!
- Kimberley Daniels: We both squeezed in. Harry brought the champaigne, and then...
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone, Kimberley Daniels: [Tickeling each other under the chin] Goochie goochie goochie goochie.
- Dan Fielding: [to Christine] Everybody's kinky... except you.
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: Hello! Who are you?
- Kimberley Daniels: Kimberley. Kimberley Daniels. My friends call me Kim.
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: [shaking hands] Harry, Harry Stone. My friends call me Shecky. I gotta get new friends.
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: [sorting his rubber snakes] Lethal, non-lethal... lethal, non-lethal...