- Sally Lonnaneck: Oh, I'm sorry Charles... I must have been dreaming.
- Charles Nutt III: No no, don't apologize. It's nice to know someone in this hotel can still dream.
- Charles Nutt III: The man will be here next week.
- Reginald Tarkington: Charles, be serious, the President doesn't know we exist.
- Dennis: Then why don't we do what all the big four star hotels do, we'll rent some equipment and and and and make a video presentation and promote the Nutt House.
- Charles Nutt III: Great idea!
- Sally Lonnaneck: That's a wonderful idea! I'll provide the make-up.
- Ms. Frick: And I could provide T und A!
- Reginald Tarkington: [climax to presidential promo tape] It is our hope, sir that as a man of the common people you will come and stay with us, the commonest people on earth. Right, miss Liberty?
- Ms. Frick: [dressed as the statue of liberty, Ms. Frick stately walks towards the camera] That's Mizz Liberty.
- Reginald Tarkington: [having received a fax from the White House] Waitaminute! What if this is a fake? Some ploy by someone that hates me? like me mother...
- Man in Bathrobe: [Ms. Frick runs in carrying a TV set] Give me back my television set!
- Ms. Frick: Oh, read a book!