The Office (TV Series)

Booze Cruise (2006)

Steve Carell: Michael Scott

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jim Halpert : [Michael's hands are tied to the rail of the Booze Cruise ship]  What happened to you?

  Michael Scott : Captain Jack has a problem with authority.

  Jim Halpert : Right, 'cause you announced that his ship was sinking?

  Michael Scott : Yeah. He just totally lost it. If you ask me, he caused the panic.

  Jim Halpert : What a night.

  Michael Scott : Well, it's nice for you. Your friend got engaged.

  Jim Halpert : She was always engaged.

  Michael Scott : Roy said the first one didn't count.

  Jim Halpert : That's great. You know, to tell you the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam. So...

  Michael Scott : Really? You're kidding me. You and Pam? Wow! I would have never put you two together. You really hid it well. God! I usually have a radar for stuff like that.

  [sighs] 

  Michael Scott : You know, I made out with Jan.

  Jim Halpert : Yeah, I know.

  Michael Scott : Yeah, yeah. Well, Pam is cute.

  Jim Halpert : Yeah. She's really funny, and she's warm, and she's just... Anyway.

  Michael Scott : Well, if you like her so much, don't give up.

  Jim Halpert : She's engaged.

  Michael Scott : BFD. Engaged ain't married.

  Jim Halpert : Huh.

  Michael Scott : [Uncharacteristically serious]  Never, ever, ever give up.

• Dwight Schrute : Don't worry, Michael. I'm taking us to shore.

  Michael Scott : It's a fake wheel, dummy.

• Michael Scott : I see the sales department as the furnace.

  Phyllis : A furnace?

  Jim Halpert : How old is this ship?

  Pam Beesley : How about the anchor?

  Phyllis : What does the furnace do?

  Michael Scott : All right, let's not get hung up on the furnace. It's just... It's the sales... I see the sales department are down there. They're in the engine room, and they're shoveling coal into the furnace. Right? I mean, who saw the movie "Titanic"? They were very important in the movie "Titanic." Who saw it? Show of hands.

  Jim Halpert : Not really sure what movie you're talking about. Are you sure you got the title right?

  Michael Scott : "Titanic."

  Pam Beesley : I think you're thinking of "The Hunt for Red October."

• Michael Scott : In an office, when you are ranking people, manager is higher than captain. On a boat, who knows? It's nebulous.

• Dwight Schrute : Seasick? Captain Jack says you should look at the moon.

  Michael Scott : Captain Jack's a fart face.

  [throws up] 

  Michael Scott : I'm on medication.

  Brenda : Really, what?

  Michael Scott : Vomicillan.