One Tree Hill (TV Series)

Near Wild Heaven (2004)

Brett Claywell: Tim

Quotes 

• Tim Smith : Hey, Nathan, what do you think? Thai? Mexican? Chinese is always good...

  Haley James : Tim, you just ate. How is it possible that you're still hungry?

  Tim Smith : I'm not ordering food, i'm ordering strippers.

• Tim Smith : Dude, smell me.

  Nathan Scott : Dude, kiss my ass.

  Tim Smith : No, seriously. I wanna smell nice for the... talent that's coming over.

  Nathan Scott : Tim, just say the stripper.

  Tim Smith : Fine, the stripper. Alright... Which one makes me smell available? I've got "Flesh" on this side and this "Frink" stuff on this side.

  Nathan Scott : That's not mine.

  Tim Smith : Well, it was in your bathroom.

  Haley James : [walks in]  Oh, Tim, what are you doing with my perfume?

  [takes it] 

• Tim Smith : She's here! Stripper time!

  [Runs to open the door. Lucas stands behind it] 

  Tim Smith : Oh, it's just you.

  Lucas 'Luke' Scott : Not the thrill it used to be, huh?

• Tim Smith : [to Nathan]  Are you sure you know this guy?

  Nathan Scott : He works with me at Hot & Twisted

  [pretzel stand at the mall] 

  Nathan's colleague : Great, even the losers don't know me.

  Tim Smith : Just read the damn quiz.

  Nathan's colleague : [sigh]  When your boyfriend kisses you, he a:...

  Lucas 'Luke' Scott : What the hell are you reading?

  Tim Smith : Cosmo Girl, go on...

  Nathan's colleague : When your boyfriend kisses you, he a: looks deeply into your eyes, b: closes his eyes, c: cradles your head softly, d: unhooks your bra.

  Tim Smith : It's D, it's definitley D. You go for the bra.

  Nathan Scott : Now, Tim, you realise you're supposed to be answering as a girl?

  Tim Smith : I know, and i'd want a boyfriend who isn't afraid to go under my shirt!

  Lucas 'Luke' Scott : And hopefully someday you'll find him.

• Tim Smith : I can see your thong strap, foxy brown!

• Tim Smith : Oh, sweet, they're in costume. Did my brother deliver or what?

  Officer Bernstein : We witnessed a keg being brought up to his apartment? Are you boys of age?

  Officer Grasso : Let's see some ID.

  Tim Smith : Let's see some hot girl!

  [Tim smacks the officer's ass. They grab his arms and push him up against a window] 

  Tim Smith : Damn these strippers are strong! I can feel your breasts against my back!

  Officer Bernstein : Better yet! Forget the keg. Arrest the perv.

  Tim Smith : Ow! You're hurting me! Does that cost extra?

• Nathan Scott : Tim, I'm married.

  Tim Smith : Right. You keep telling yourself that. But that ring doesn't erase your past, Nate. Some of us still remember who you used to be.