- [Bob and Richard open the coffee from Santini's gallery which Officer Jimmy has just drunk from]
- Det. Bob Ballard: It's the coffee you impounded.
- Det. Richard Capparelli: And there are the drugs right there.
- Det. Bob Ballard: Makes sense.
- [to beat cops]
- Det. Bob Ballard: Book him.
- [to Capparelli]
- Det. Bob Ballard: He must have packed the cocaine in coffee to throw of the dogs at customs!
- Det. Richard Capparelli: Now, Bob, those women may be a bit homely, but I think dogs is a little extreme!
- Det. Bob Ballard: What made you go after Santini?
- Det. Richard Capparelli: [holding up Santini's file] Well, the next time you have a rift with your wife, I didn't want you to use this as an excuse not to work it out.
- Det. Richard Capparelli: [after arresting Santini and impounding everything in the gallery] I know how he's smuggling in the drugs. It's in the artwork!
- [grabs a vase]
- Santini: Careful with that! it's worth $20,000!
- Det. Richard Capparelli: Sure it is, that's cause it's full of
- [drops the vase, which is empty]
- Det. Richard Capparelli: Nothing!
- Det. Richard Capparelli: Hey, roomie!
- Det. Bob Ballard: Capparelli, if you call me roomie one more time, I swear to God, I will bring paper products into this house that *you* will not be able to recycle!
- Officer Jimmy: Nobody drinks coffee anymore. Nobody smokes cigarettes. What happened to all the real men?
- Ballard: They all died!
- [Ballard has said he won't be able to invite Cappareli round to meet Mrs Ballard]
- Det. Richard Capparelli: You need some time together to re-establish you're bond.
- Det. Bob Ballard: No - after everything I've told her about you, she's afraid of you!
- [Al enters the squard room with Officer Jimmy walking behind]
- Det. Al Burkhardt: Try to keep up, will ya?
- Det. Bob Ballard: What's going on, Jimmy?
- Officer Jimmy: [Pointing to Al] Captain assigned me special detail, to protect this man.
- Det. Al Burkhardt: Can you belive this. This guy hasn't been out of the supply room in thirty years!
- [Spotting Captain Epstein]
- Det. Al Burkhardt: Sir, I respectfuly request a younger policeman.
- Capt. Ken Epstein: Det. Burkhardt, I will not allow age discrimination in this precinct. Jimmy has a lifetime of police experience - he's forgotten more than you'll ever know!
- Santini: [pointing at Capparelli] I want this lunatic brought up on charges. Who's the senior officer here?
- Capt. Ken Epstein: Ballard, take over here!
- Det. Bob Ballard: [Capparelli smashes 4 vases without finding any drugs] When you're wrong, you're really wrong, aren't you!
- Det. Richard Capparelli: When I was married, my wife and I had a marriage councillor we could talk through our problems with, and it made for a stronger and happier marriage
- Det. Bob Ballard: But you guys got divorced!
- Det. Richard Capparelli: Yes, but then she married our thearpist!