- Roseanne Conner: [at the dinner table] So Becky, somethin' wrong with your food?
- Becky Conner: Oh, you mean you hid some *food* under all this *slop*?
- Roseanne Conner: Hey, I stuck that in the microwave, pressed power, pressed time, pressed start, and this is the *thanks* I get?
- Becky Conner: Uck, God, nobody could eat this crud.
- Dan Conner: Hey, if you don't finish your crud, you're not going to get any crap for dessert.
- Dan Conner: [Roseanne and Jackie are standing outside the front door and overhear Dan and Becky shouting at each other. Dan storms out the front door, putting on his coat] This whole marriage, family thing has been a lot of fun, but I gotta go.
- Roseanne Conner: [to Jackie] Damn, I lose more husbands that way.
- Becky Conner: That's right, the evil Mark with the fake ID. The one you don't want me to go out with.
- Roseanne Conner: The one you're not allowed to go out with, *Becky*.
- Becky Conner: Oh, is that so, *Roseanne*?
- Dan Conner: Hey! Her name is Mother.
- Becky Conner: [sees a man in Jackie's apartment] Oh my God, you guys were just about to, like, do it. I'm real sorry, I'll wait out in the hall.
- [shuts the door]
- Becky Conner: Call me when you're done.