Roseanne (TV Series)
Becky's Choice (1989)
Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner
Photos
Quotes
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Roseanne Conner : I want to be the kind of parent that can trust their kid.
Dan Conner : Oh? You want to be the kind of parent who can look at a kid like Johnny Swanko and NOT think he's only got one thing on his filthy mind and we BOTH have a pretty good idea what that is.
Roseanne Conner : Well, you know you used to be kind of a punk, and I was kind of naive on our first date, remember?
[they look at each other and smile]
Roseanne Conner : Becky!
[walks to the living room]
Roseanne Conner : You know something? I really think we're doing the right thing here.
Dan Conner : I do too!
Becky Conner : What now?
Dan Conner : Your mother and I have reached a decision on the Swanko situation.
Becky Conner : So can I go out with him?
Roseanne Conner : Not in a million years!
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Dan Conner : So tell me about this Johnny kid.
Darlene Conner : Well, he has a black studded belt... and they call him the tongue bandit.
Roseanne Conner : Darlene, you can leave now.
Darlene Conner : Yeah, I'll go over to Johnny's.
D.J. Conner : Me too.
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Darlene Conner : Do I *have* to get dressed up for this boring dinner?
Roseanne Conner : No, we're all eating naked.
Darlene Conner : Agaaaaain?
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Becky Conner : They have to be gone by NINE. I have to start studying by NINE o' clock.
Roseanne Conner : Exactly what is it that you're studying?
Becky Conner : Nothing.
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Dan Conner : [to Becky] We're not going to do anything to embarrass you.
Roseanne Conner : Right.
Dan Conner : [bell rings, to Roseanne] I'll go get the door, you get the orgy lamp.
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Edgar Lang : It was always 'Aloha' this and 'Aloha' that, because aloha means so many things, it means of course hello and goodbye, and what else does it mean, Bonnie?
Bonnie Lang : I know it means 'love'.
Roseanne Conner : I think it means 'pot holder' too.
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Roseanne Conner : Uhhh, did you know that when you bake swordfish it shrinks? And when it burns, it almost disappears altogether?
Dan Conner : [forced grin] Well why don't we just eat it now when it's *burnt*, honey?
Darlene Conner : Burned?
Roseanne Conner : I can make us hamburgers in 20 minutes.
Bonnie Lang : Hamburgers will be fine. This will be our red meat day.
Darlene Conner : We could've had hamburgers an HOUR ago! I hate this family!
Roseanne Conner : Go get Becky and have her come down.
Darlene Conner : She's not upstairs.
Roseanne Conner : Where'd she go?
Darlene Conner : If she has any brains, out to dinner.
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Roseanne Conner : Enlighten me, what's your definition of 'cool'? Is it cool to make a date with one guy and have his family come over on the very same night you make a date with Johnny Angel?
Becky Conner : Johnny Swanko.
Roseanne Conner : Whatever his name is. Answer the question.
Becky Conner : This isn't any of your business.
Roseanne Conner : It IS my business when you start sneaking out of this house and meeting a guy I would consider leaving your father for!
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Darlene Conner : Ugh, what smells like fish?
Roseanne Conner : Fish.
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Chip Lang : Hey Becky, are you doing anything tomorrow night?
Becky Conner : [suspiciously] Why?
Chip Lang : I was wondering if you wanted to see Bloodthirsty 2.
Becky Conner : Tomorrow night?
Chip Lang : Yeah.
Becky Conner : ...It didn't get very good reviews.
Roseanne Conner : Neither did Bloodthirsty 1, but you saw that 14 times.
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Dan Conner : Hey! I thought you were going to clear this table.
Roseanne Conner : Oh I'm sorry, honey, I was just goofing around cooking dinner for *eight*.