Roseanne (TV Series)

Crime and Punishment (1993)

Michael Fishman: D.J. Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Darlene Conner : You call yourselves parents? These punishments bite, you're supposed to be better than this.

  Roseanne Conner : Well, why don't you just punish him?

  Darlene Conner : Really?

  Roseanne Conner : What do you think, Dan?

  Dan Conner : [waves]  Bye, Deej.

  Darlene Conner : This is gonna be great.

  Roseanne Conner : Just remember, you're at that awkward age where you can be tried as an adult.

  Darlene Conner : I got it. You have to wear a suit and tie to school tomorrow.

  D.J. Conner : In front of everyone?

  Roseanne Conner : Gee Darlene, why don't you just beat him up, yourself?

• Dan Conner : [to D.J.'s school principal]  Well, look I... I know it's wrong for kids to bring comics to school and read them in class, but hey, they're kids. I know it's not great literature.

  [looks at the book] 

  Dan Conner : My God! What kind of diseased mind could create something like this? Oh, man. Hey, I don't know where DJ got this, but you can be sure We don't allow things like this in our house. This is not the way we raise our children.

  [to DJ] 

  Dan Conner : Where did you get this?

  D.J. Conner : Darlene made it.