Roseanne (TV Series)

Good Girls, Bad Girls (1992)

Sara Gilbert: Darlene Conner

Quotes 

• Molly Tilden : [about the guys in the parking lot]  So cute. Which one do you want?

  Darlene : The one that'll kill you and stuff you into a trunk.

• [Sean tries to put his arm around Darlene] 

  Darlene : Any part of you that touches me, you're not getting back.

• Darlene : [when a guy offers her a joint]  Oh, man. I feel like I'm in the middle of a really bad after-school special.

• Darlene : Look, I have a boyfriend. I don't need these jerks. Now, can we get out of here? It's been like, an hour and a half.

  Molly Tilden : Well, it's my car and I'm not ready to go. I'm still looking for the perfect guy, okay?

  Darlene : Oh, it's a good thing we're in a parking lot full of drunken losers. It shouldn't be hard to spot that white horse.

• Darlene : [to Roseanne and Dan]  Don't even bother yelling at me because no matter how mad you are, you're nowhere near as mad as I am.

  Roseanne : Well, don't bet on it! Where in the hell have you been?

  Darlene : Trying to get home. That skank woman Molly left me stranded in the parking lot, so she could jump in a van with some guys after the concert. I finally had to wave down a cab.

  Dan : I don't care what your story is. The rule is you call.

  Darlene : It was a bad neighborhood. When I finally found a phone booth, I got tired of waiting for the guy in it to finish peeing.

• Darlene : [to Sean]  Just stop right there, Ponyboy. You and the rest of your Outsiders can go rumble someplace else.

• Molly Tilden : [to Darlene]  Wait a minute. You and I actually like the same band?

  Darlene : Yeah, well, you know. Don't spread it around.

  Molly Tilden : Don't worry. I've got a reputation too.

  Darlene : Yeah, and the cold sores to prove it.

• Roseanne : [to Darlene]  What were you doing talking to some guys in a van?

  Darlene : It wasn't me, it was her. I told you that.

  Roseanne : Right. She deserted you.

  Darlene : What, you don't believe that Molly would desert me? Why, because she's so sweet and cute and says "please" and "thank you, ma'am"?

  Roseanne : No, because she doesn't have a history of lying to me like you do.

  Dan : [after getting off the phone]  That was Charlotte. She just heard from Molly. Darlene, you'll be relieved to know that right now, you're in Molly's car driving back with her and you'll be home safe in about an hour.

  Darlene : I'll accept your apology over eggs and french toast in the morning.

  [Roseanne glares at her] 

  Darlene : Or, you know, you could just ground me and that'd be okay too.