Roseanne (TV Series)

It Was Twenty Years Ago Today (1993)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Quotes 

• Jackie Harris : What've you got planned for the big event?

  Roseanne Conner : Aww, it's gonna be sooo great. We're going all out this time, you know. Ah, we'll start with a really romantic, prime rib dinner, and everything, because, you know, the twentieth wedding anniversary *is* the red meat and liquor anniversary.

• Jackie Harris : [about Roseanne's wedding anniversary gift]  Still looking. I wanted to be sure I get you something you've always wanted.

  Roseanne Conner : [gasps]  Can you get me into the Witness Relocation Program?

• Roseanne Conner : [Roseanne can't find her wedding ring]  I'm gonna go look in the living room again, and if I don't find it in there, I'm getting D.J. x-rayed.

  Roseanne Conner : [Jackie suggests checking the vacuum bag]  The vacuum bag? How in the hell would it get into the vacuum bag!