- Jackie Harris: [mad because Roseanne fed her child cookies against her instructions] Maybe I don't want my kid turning out the way yours did. Like your... smart-assed high school drop out, trailer trash, dark clothes wearing, boyfriend's in the basement, too-soon-sex doing, four-letter wording, hoodlum oreo eaters! That's what you are... the whole family! The whole *lot* of ya! Oreo eaters! And *you*... you are the *oree-oiest*!
- Jackie Harris: Roseanne. My child has oreo breath!
- Roseanne Conner: Well relax. That's just because we were drinking an oreo flavored liquor.