Roseanne (TV Series)

One for the Road (1990)

Alicia Goranson: Becky Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dan Conner : All right, Becky, what happened?

  Roseanne Conner : And try telling the truth this time.

  Becky : Look, it was no big deal. We had a couple of tornadoes.

  Roseanne Conner : Oh, it was no big deal, huh? How come you lied?

  Dan Conner : Who made them?

  Becky : I made them.

  Roseanne Conner : I want to know right now. Is this a new thing or a regular thing?

  Becky : I've never done it before.

  Roseanne Conner : Is that the truth?

  Becky : [annoyed]  Yes! What is the problem? You guys drink all the time!

  Dan Conner : First of all, we don't drink all the time. Second of all, we're not talking about us!

  Becky : Look, I have one drink and you guys act like I'm an alcoholic! Oh, quick, I'll call the 800 number!

  Roseanne Conner : We are your 800 number, Becky. And if you got a problem, you better tell us about it right now.

  Becky : We were bored. we were looking for something to do.

  Dan Conner : You want something to do? Find me, I'll give you something to do!

  Becky : I guess I just wasn't thinking.

  Roseanne Conner : For God's sake, Becky, you're 14 years old!

  Becky : Mom, everything I do, everything I feel, it's always, "Well, she's 14". I mean, when you guys do something, people don't go, "Oh, well she's 37."

  Roseanne Conner : [after a pause]  36 and a half.

  Becky : Whatever.

  Dan Conner : You know, Becky, you're gonna find that when people drink, they mostly do it for the wrong reasons.

  Becky : [sarcastically]  So, what are the right reasons?

  Dan Conner : Honey?

  Roseanne Conner : You're grounded!

• Roseanne Conner : [after finding out Becky is drunk, to Darlene]  What the hell went on here? Did you get in the liquor when you were playing the records?

  Becky : [as Darlene hesitates, solemnly]  I was playing the records.

  Dan Conner : Wait a minute... Darlene, I thought you said you were playing the records.

  Darlene Conner : Well, yeah. I mean... I got them out, but Becky was actually playing them.

  Karen Hudson : Who was the bartender?

  Darlene Conner : [to Becky]  Wasn't it that girl who was over here studying with you?

  [Karen glares at Darlene who smiles] 

• Becky : [Becky is having a hangover]  I think I'm going to die.

• Becky : [drunk]  This is my sister, Lardene. Larlene... Dardene.

  [giggles] 

• Becky : [drunk]  We don't have a bathroom, we have a wok.

• Darlene Conner : [to Becky]  Well, you're not gonna do this again, are you?

  Becky : [annoyed]  Look, I'll do...

  [groans from a headache] 

  Becky : I'll do whatever I feel like doing, you little brat. Now beat it.

  Darlene Conner : Okay, okay. Maybe when I come back up, I'll bring you a little breakfast.

  [Becky groans] 

  Darlene Conner : And maybe a sausage or two so you can bite down on one of those little hard chunks.

  [Becky trembles in sickness] 

  Darlene Conner : And maybe a poached egg slightly undercooked...

  [Becky rushes out of bed and goes into the bathroom] 

  Darlene Conner : ... with that white runny stuff that you can never quite keep on the spoon.

  [Becky vomits as Darlene slurps] 

  Darlene Conner : Yes!

• Roseanne Conner : [to Becky]  You know, I'm not so much bothered by the fact that you took a drink. I mean, you tried it, you got sick, you got caught. You know know what that's like. What really bugs the hell out of me is that I just can't trust you anymore and I always thought I could. You blew it big time.

  Becky : So, what are you saying? That I have to be chaperoned for the rest of my life?

  Roseanne Conner : Well, you tell me. Can I not leave you alone in the house anymore?

  Darlene : Well, I could watch her.

  Roseanne Conner : So, do I have to throw out every bit of liquor 'cause you can't get that kids do not do what adults do?

  Becky : No, of course not. I'm sorry, Mom.

  Roseanne Conner : Yeah, I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I can't trust you anymore.

  Becky : Yes, you can.

  Roseanne Conner : Yeah, we'll find out I guess 'cause I'm gonna be watching you like a hawk. And maybe someday a long, long time from now, things will be the way they were before 'cause that's the way they should be.

• Dana Hudson : [to Becky]  Don't think I'm stupid or anything, but like, what is this project about?

  Becky : It's about us, women in the '90s.

  Dana Hudson : Women of the '90s or women in the '90s?

  Becky : I think it's women in the '90s.

  Dana Hudson : But wouldn't women in the '90s mean, like old women?

  Becky : No, that would be women in their 90s.

  Dana Hudson : Ok, so then we're getting into a grammar thing.