Roseanne (TV Series)

Playing with Matches (1993)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bev Harris : [the girls are curious if their Mom is seeing Jake, from her retirement community]  Please, girls, I'm not in the market. I spent forty years taking care of your father, and I'm not going to do that again.

  Roseanne Conner : Well relax, in forty years, all that guy's gonna need is just an occasional mowing.

• Roseanne Conner : And, Ma, I forgot to tell you, um. Dan wanted you to, um, come bowling with us tonight.

  Bev Harris : I'd love to. I'm sure I've still got one of your father's balls around somewhere.

  Jake : Alimony wasn't enough?

• Dan Conner : David, you better tell us what you're fighting about.

  Roseanne Conner : Yeah, 'cause it's no fun 'til we can take sides.

• Roseanne Conner : [after hearing what David did to make Darlene mad]  Oh, David, I'm so sorry that your last meal's going to be meatloaf.

• Roseanne Conner : So, is he gonna be our new dad, or is he just another one of your nooners?