Roseanne (TV Series)

Stressed to Kill (1991)

John Goodman: Dan Conner

Quotes 

• Roseanne : I am an obsessive compulsive addictive mess, Dan! I can't do anything just a little, I find something I like and I totally overdo it: eating, smoking, thank God for birth control.

  Dan Conner : Amen.

• Roseanne : The problem is just me, Dan. I blame the kids, I blame money, but it's all bull. I am just weak.

  Dan Conner : [coyly]  That's why I married you, because you're so weak and frail.

• Dan Conner : [walks Roseanne into the bedroom]  Tell me what happened.

  Roseanne : Oh, then I called Leon a big doodie-face and he sent me home.

  [collapses face down on the bed] 

  Dan Conner : [sprawls over her and massages her back]  Did you smoke?

  Roseanne : No. I did however eat seven thousand pickle chips.

  Dan Conner : Thanks for the warning.