Roswell (TV Series)

I Married an Alien (2002)

Adam Rodriguez: Jesse Ramirez

Quotes 

• Jesse : Were you guys just talking about me?

  Isabel : No, silly. The world doesn't revolve around you!

  Max : Yeah, it revolves around Michael.

  Michael : That's me!

• Max : Somebody wanna tell me what's going on?

  Jesse : Max! You can't just go around turning people into dogs.

  Max : I won't stand here and be lectured by the descendant of an ape.

  Isabel : Max, change him back, please.

  Max : He seems to know our little secret. Now how could that have happened?

  Jesse : He doesn't know anything. Unless, of course, he's seen you flying around the neighborhood in the saucer again.

  Max : You go for one joyride and they never let you forget it.

  Isabel : Max, I don't want him to piddle on the carpet.

  Max : In a minute, Speaking of the saucer Michael broke the cloaking device so I had to park it in your basement for now.

  Jesse : In the basement?

  Max : Am I speaking too fast for your human brain to follow?

  Jesse : How did you get it in there?

  Isabel : He used the time-space slipstream, dear.

  Max : Duh.

• Jesse : [On the golf course]  You want to take a mulligan?

  Michael : No, I don't take drugs.

• Eric Hughes : So, uh, when did you meet Isabel?

  Jesse : July 5th.

  Eric Hughes : July 5th? Isn't that your birthday?

  Jesse : Yeah, how about that for a present.

• Isabel : Did you forget something?

  Jesse : Yeah, my balls.

  [Max and Michael laughs] 

  Jesse : Were you guys just talking about me?

  Isabel : That's a little paranoid, don't you think? I mean the whole world doesn't revolve around you.

  Max : It revolves around Michael.

  Michael : That's a fact.