- Max: Somebody wanna tell me what's going on?
- Jesse: Max! You can't just go around turning people into dogs.
- Max: I won't stand here and be lectured by the descendant of an ape.
- Isabel: Max, change him back, please.
- Max: He seems to know our little secret. Now how could that have happened?
- Jesse: He doesn't know anything. Unless, of course, he's seen you flying around the neighborhood in the saucer again.
- Max: You go for one joyride and they never let you forget it.
- Isabel: Max, I don't want him to piddle on the carpet.
- Max: In a minute, Speaking of the saucer Michael broke the cloaking device so I had to park it in your basement for now.
- Jesse: In the basement?
- Max: Am I speaking too fast for your human brain to follow?
- Jesse: How did you get it in there?
- Isabel: He used the time-space slipstream, dear.
- Max: Duh.
- Eric Hughes: So, uh, when did you meet Isabel?
- Jesse: July 5th.
- Eric Hughes: July 5th? Isn't that your birthday?
- Jesse: Yeah, how about that for a present.
- Maria DeLuca: [about Michael] So he wants to take me out for my birthday next week and I don't know.
- Kyle Valenti: What's the harm?
- Isabel Amanda Evans: Well, the harm is that a birthday dinner by definition is sentimental.
- Maria DeLuca: And sentimental leads to a goodnight kiss.
- Isabel Amanda Evans: And a goodnight kiss leads to sex.
- Kyle Valenti: I should write that down.