- Stu Pickles: [awoken by a loud organ blast] Um, great game, huh, Pop?
- Grandpa Lou Pickles: Huh. Oh, yeah.
- Stu Pickles: Um, what inning is it?
- Grandpa Lou Pickles: Got me.
- Stu Pickles: Who's winning?
- Grandpa Lou Pickles: What do I look like, a scoreboard?
- Grandpa Lou Pickles: [Walks down to the basement] Hello, Stu.
- Stu Pickles: [Has a scope on his eye while using a screwdriver to fix a doll] Hello, Pop.
- Grandpa Lou Pickles: Do you ever wish Tommy was a girl?
- Stu Pickles: [His scope falls down] Come again?
- Grandpa Lou Pickles: I just wonder what Tommy would look like in a dress?
- Stu Pickles: Pop, what are you talking about?
- Grandpa Lou Pickles: Well, I was reading the paper and I came across this little less lovely contest. You know, for baby girls?
- Stu Pickles: [Aggravated] And?
- Grandpa Lou Pickles: And I was thinking we could dress Tommy up like a girl and bring him a little contest this weekend. What do you say?
- Stu Pickles: [in anger] Are you out of your nut? No one's gonna cross-dress my boy and stick him in some beauty contest.