Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Sam Kinison/Lou Reed (1986)

Phil Hartman: Superman, Chick HazardVarious

Quotes 

• Chick Hazard : Come on, Eddie, I can read you like a book. Sure, some of the pages are stuck together. But lets go through the table of contents.

  Eddie Spimozo : Lets not!

  Chick Hazard : Chapter one: born in a lower East Side slum.

  Eddie Spimozo : Well, listen to J.P. Morgan!

  Chick Hazard : Chapter two: heads up a gang in Hells Kitchen.

  Eddie Spimozo : A fellow's gotta eat.

  Chick Hazard : Chapter three: goes from stealing apples to running booze for the big boys uptown.

  Eddie Spimozo : [produces a gun]  Chapter four: detective found dead on bar room floor!