- Tom Seaver: You can see a few of the members of the cast here on the stage. Timmy up there, and Mary Gross, the... The Belush-Man, Jim Belushi up the top... I know these kids would love to get this game in the show and they're really gamers. They're troopers, the show must go on and that's what they believe.
- Saturday Night News Anchor: The war betwen Iran and Irak came to a sudden end today, when the two nations each agreed to drop the last letters in their names and form one great, big nation named 'Ira'.
- Molly Nadler: Well, I dreamt that I was a deep, dark tunnel, and that you were a train. The biggest train I'd ever seen. You roared into me with tremendous force, the earth shattered, then you backed up and did it again.