Scrubs (TV Series)
My Day at the Races (2006)
Ken Jenkins: Dr. Bob Kelso
Quotes
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Turk : Dr. Kelso! Do you have any idea who's gonna get those three attending spots next year?
Dr. Kelso : There are four spots for next year.
Turk : Three if you're not counting the one going to me!
Dr. Kelso : I'm gonna stick with four, Turkleton. See, there are numerous skilled surgeons here at Sacred Fart -
[laughs]
Dr. Kelso : did you see the sign?
[He continues chuckling, and Turk humors him by joining in]
Dr. Kelso : Though there will be no vandalism here, people!
[Snickers]
Dr. Kelso : It was classic! Anyway, the key is doing something to get noticed.
Turk : I don't know if you know this, but tomorrow I'm doing an appendectomy using hypnosis instead of anesthesia.
Dr. Kelso : Well, it's about time. Hell's bells, son, when I say the name Turkleton, people laugh!
Turk : Maybe because that's not my name.
Dr. Kelso : Not yet, Turkleton! Not yet.
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Turk : Why are all these cameras here?
Dr. Kelso : Turkleton, this is quite the event here at Sacred Fart.
[Laughs heartily]
Dr. Kelso : I can't help it, it kills me! Yeah, we got visiting doctors, video crews, even that Japanese newsanchor who slept with me when I convinced her I was an oil tycoon.
[Turk looks over at the young Asian woman]
Dr. Kelso : If she comes over here, my name is T-Bone!
Dr. Cox : We're also getting a good bit of interest from the seismologists at CalTech, who I understand will be able to chart the magnitude of the scream emanating from your hypnosis patient, as well as, of course, the numerous afterscreams that are sure to follow.
Turk : No interviews!
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Turk : What the hell was I thinking?
Carla : No, you did great, baby.
Dr. Kelso : She's right, Turkleton. Hell, without anesthesia, you made it halfway through a surgery. I bet you could publish that.
Dr. Cox : Maybe they'll put it in Almost Magazine.
Dr. Kelso : You know, Perry, it wouldn't hurt you to make some noise around here.
Dr. Cox : How's this? Blow it out your ass, Bob.
