Scrubs (TV Series)

My Nickname (2001)

John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox

Quotes 

• [to an annoying patient] 

  Dr. Cox : Okay, think of what little patience I have as... oh, I don't know... your virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night Junior Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends... well, he dropped by, and he brought a copy of "About Last Night" and a four-pack of Bartles & Jaymes and

  [swings clipboard like a baseball bat] 

  Dr. Cox : buh-DOW, it was gone forever - just like my patience is now.

  Jill Tracy : So you do scary little speeches. How adorable!

• Dr. Cox : Everyone, we can all relax now. The planets have been realigned and order shall be returned to the people.

  [to Elliot] 

  Dr. Cox : Hey, you!

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Just... give me two seconds, gotta finish e-mailing Jill.

  Dr. Cox : I have right here your little friend's test results. Shall we have some fun and take a look?

  [opens the chart and read it] 

  Dr. Cox : Hmm, interesting! EKG negative; Tilt Table negative; Echo negative. Nyet, nada, zilch, nothing in fact is wrong with her but little stress and exhaustion, brought on mostly by... oh, let it come... being her!

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Yeah, but if you don't...

  Dr. Cox : No no, no no, no no, no no, no no, no no no... No! There's no time for "Yeah, buts". I want her out of here in the next five minutes or you'll be personally responsible for covering every missed shift during this year's flu season. Now go! Now go! Now go!

  [Elliot goes, J.D. arrives; Cox whistles at him] 

  Dr. Cox : Hey you! For what it's worth I don't care if your beeper plays "Who let the dogs out? Hoof, hoof!" as many times as you like.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Actually, sir, it's "who, who"... but thank you, that... that's great.

  Dr. Cox : Sure. Oh, and Ginger, by the way... just a real smooth move running to your mommy...

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Excuse me?

  Dr. Cox : Yeah, your mommy c-rushed me. She did. I'd like to issue a warning to everybody, and I'm dead serious. FYI: J.D.'s mommy has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want her daughter picked on any more. Nothing mean. She's a precious flower and we should all be super nice to her...

• Dr. Cox : [interrupting annoying conversation between Jill Tracy and Dr. Elliot Reid] 

  Dr. Cox : Okay, think of what little patience I have as... oh, I don't know... your virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night Junior Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends... well, he dropped by, and he brought a copy of "About Last Night" and a four-pack of Bartles & Jaymes and woo hoo hoo, it was gone forever - just like my patience is now.

  Jill Tracy : So you do scary little speeches. How adorable!