Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Burning (1998)

Jason Alexander: George Costanza

Photos 

Quotes 

• Elaine : Here's one. I borrowed Puddy's car and all the presets on his radio were Christian rock stations.

  George Costanza : I like Christian rock. It's very positive. It's not like those real musicians who think they're so cool and hip.

  Elaine : So you think that Puddy actually believes in something?

  Jerry : It's a used car, he probably never changed the presets.

  Elaine : Yes, he is lazy.

  Jerry : Plus, he probably doesn't know how to program the buttons.

  Elaine : Yes, he is dumb.

  Jerry : So you prefer dumb and lazy to religious?

  Elaine : Dumb and lazy, I understand.

• George Costanza : [after Jerry has told him and Elaine about Sophie giving him the "It's me"]  I'm against all "it's me"s. So self-absorbed and egotistical. It's like these hip musicians with their complicated shoes!

• Elaine : Well, I'm going to hell.

  Jerry : That sounds about right. Hey, did you hear the one about the guy in hell with the coffee and the donuts?

  Elaine : Jerry, I'm not in the mood.

  George Costanza : [to the waitress]  I'll have some coffee and a donut.

• George Costanza : Don't you even care. This is your company. It's your name on the outside of the building. Speaking of which, the R fell off. All it says now is K UGER

  Kruger : K uger, that sounds like one of those old time car horns, huh? K uger, K uger.

  George Costanza : You are too much, Mr. Kruger, too much.

  Kruger : Thank you, George, you've been great. That's it for me

  [starts to leave] 

  George Costanza : You're not going out on a high note with me, Mr. Kruger.

  Kruger : It's K uger.

  George Costanza : Nooo! Nooo!

  Kruger : Good night everybody.

• Sophie : [on Jerry's answering machine]  Hey Jerry, it's me. Call me back.

  Jerry : Sophie.

  George Costanza : She's still doing that?

  Jerry : Yep.

  George Costanza : Alright, I'll tell you what you do. You call her back and give HER the "It's me", heh? Pull the old switcheroo.

  Jerry : I think that's a "What's good for the goose is good for the gander."

  George Costanza : What the hell is a gander, anyway?

  Jerry : It's a goose that's had the old switcheroo pulled on it.

• George Costanza : I had 'em Jerry. They loved me.

  Jerry : And then?

  George Costanza : I lost them. I can usually come up with one good comment during a meeting, but by the end, it's buried under a pile of gaffs and bad puns.

  Jerry : Showmanship, George. When you hit that high note, say goodnight and walk off.

• Jerry : No no, he's pretending he's got gonorrhea so med students can diagnose it.

  Cosmo Kramer : And it's a waste of my talent. It's just a little burning. Mickey, he got bacterial meningitis.

  George Costanza : Well I guess there are no small diseases, only small actors.

  [Kramer, Elaine and Jerry laugh] 

  George Costanza : Alright, that's it for me. goodnight everybody.

  [exits] 

  Elaine : What was that?

  Jerry : Showmanship. George is trying to get out on a high note.