Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Finale (1998)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jerry Seinfeld : [the conversation from the pilot episode of 'Seinfeld']  See now, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot.

  George Costanza : Really?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Oh yeah. The second button is the key button. It literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, it's too high, it's in no-man's land.

  George Costanza : Haven't we had this conversation before?

  Jerry Seinfeld : You think?

  George Costanza : I think we have.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Yeah, maybe we have.

• Jerry Seinfeld : [In Prison]  So, what is the deal with the yard? I mean when I was a kid my mother wanted me to play in the yard. But of course she didn't have to worry about my next door neighbor Tommy sticking a shiv in my thigh. And what's with the lockdown? Why do we have to be locked in our cells? Are we that bad that we have to be sent to prison in prison? You would think the weightlifting and the sodomy is enough.

• George Costanza : I cheated in the contest.

  Jerry : What?

  George Costanza : The contest. I cheated.

  Jerry : Why?

  George Costanza : Because I'm a cheater!

• Cosmo Kramer : [after Jerry tells Kramer he's moving to California]  You're moving to California?

  Jerry : Yeah!

  Cosmo Kramer : But Jerry, what happens if the show's a hit? You could be out there for years. You might never come back!

  Jerry : No, I'll be back.

  Cosmo Kramer : Jerry, it's L.A., nobody leaves. She's a seductress, she's a siren, she's a virgin, she's a whore.

• Jerry : That's him, the bubble boy!

  Jackie Chiles : What's a bubble boy?

  Jerry : He's a boy who lives in a bubble.

  Bubble Boy : The hell you all looking at?

• [first lines] 

  Jerry : It seems like whenever these office people call you in for a meeting the whole thing is about the sitting down. "I would really like to sit down with you." "I think we need to sit down and talk." "Why don't you come in and we'll sit down?" Sometimes sitting doesn't work. People get mad at the sitting. "You know, we've been sitting here for I don't know how long. How much longer are we just gonna sit here? I'll tell you what I think we should do. I think we should all sleep on it. Maybe we're not getting down low enough. Maybe if we all lie down, then our brains will work."