- Elaine gets the gang to volunteer visiting the elderly, each "adopting" an old person. She gets freaked out by hers, George gets fired by his guy, and Jerry loses his. Kramer and Newman scheme to sell records to a vintage music store and steal the records from Jerry's old guy.—halo1k
- After hearing that Elaine has volunteered to help out with the elderly, George and Jerry decide that it sounds like fun and volunteer as well. None of them cope very well. Jerry's charge is about as crotchety as can be and doesn't want him around. George simply can't relate to the old man he's been assigned. Elaine can't quite with her old woman's physical deformity. George and Newman meanwhile decide to try and make money by selling old record albums - those that belong to others.—garykmcd
- George believes that the key to his relationship problems is a woman who doesn't speak English. Elaine has signed up to do volunteer work for the elderly. George is inspired to do this, and Elaine forces Jerry to sign up as well.
Jerry, Elaine, and George volunteer to help the elderly. Jerry gets assigned to Sidney Fields (Bill Erwin), a bad-tempered 87-year-old man with a Senegalese housekeeper (Lanei Chapman), that he claims is trying to steal his possessions. Elaine is repulsed by the goiter problems of the woman Mrs. Oliver she is visiting, and George depresses his assigned senior citizen 85-year-old, Ben Cantwell (Robert Donley), by questioning his outlook on dying, until he walks out, telling George that "Life's too short to waste on you". George had argued that the average American male life span is 72 years and Ben is already 85 and so he has to be worried about dying at any time now. It is revealed for the first time that Newman is a US Postal service officer and delivers mail. He has recently gone into partnership with Kramer to sell old records.
Kramer and Newman try the business of selling some of Jerry's old records to a used record store but are not satisfied when the store's owner Ron (Tobin Bell) offers them a very small amount of $5. Ron asks the guys to bring him something decent if they want good cash amounts. Sidney tells him that he wants to get rid of some of his "junk", including a large number of old records which Kramer and Newman show up later to pick up. George becomes attracted to Mr. Fields' housekeeper when he learns that she can't speak English. He also accompanies Jerry when Kramer and Newman go with him to pick up the records.
The man gets upset at their intrusion and bites Kramer's arm, causing him to jerk back and launch his dentures into the garbage disposal. Jerry loses track of Fields when they try to take him to the dentist to repair his dentures which were promptly destroyed after the garbage disposal was turned on by George, mistaken for a light switch.
Meanwhile, Elaine discovers that her old woman had an affair with Gandhi, and one of the stories she tells directly mirrors what George had said to the housekeeper about him "dipping my bald head in oil and rubbing it all over your body".
Kramer and Newman take Fields' records to the music store's owner, who still offers them a small amount of money of $20. Upset, Newman insults the owner (with help from Kramer) and a fight ensues, resulting in the records being destroyed. The search for Jerry's old man leads to everyone (including the old man's son) bursting in on George having oil rubbed on his head by the housekeeper.
The episode ends with the two old men, in the diner, in the same booth the main characters use, having much the same conversation Jerry and George had at the beginning of the episode, during which Fields tells Cantwell about the woman he was recently "fixed up" with - mentioning both her goiter and her youthful relationship with Gandhi. However, Fields recounts that she put milk in his tea without asking, calling it "a turnoff", an opinion with which Cantwell agrees, telling Fields "you don't need that."
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