- J. Peterman: Then, in the distance, I heard the bulls. I began running as fast as I could. Fortunately, I was wearing my Italian cap toe oxfords. Sophisticated yet different; nothing to make a huge fuss about. Rich dark brown calfskin leather. Matching leather vent. Men's whole and half sizes 7 through 13. Price: $135.00.
- Cosmo Kramer: [has just learned Jerry's girlfriend is Bette Midler's understudy in the Rochelly, Rochelle musical] Understudys, now they're a shifty bunch. The substitute teachers of the theater world.
- Jerry Seinfeld: I'm glad that she's an understudy. This way I avoid having to go backstage and think of something to say.
- George Costanza: Going backstage is the worst. Especially when they stink, then it's a real problem.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Just once I'd like to tell someone they stink. 'Ya know what? I didn't like the show, I didn't like you, ya just really stunk. The whole thing: really bad. Stinkaroo. Thanks for the tickets though.'
- Cosmo Kramer: [to Gennice] So, my dear, you think you can get to Broadway? Well, let me tell you something, Broadway has no room for people like you. Not the Broadway I know. My Broadway takes people like you and eats them up and spits them out. My Broadway's the Broadway of Merman and Martin and Fontaine, and if you think you can build yourself up by knocking other people down, well good luck!
- Elaine Benes: I'm telling you Jerry, I have a sneaking suspicion the women at the nail parlour were talking about me. I think they've been calling me a dog.
- Jerry Seinfeld: How would you know? You don't speak Korean.
- Elaine Benes: Because this woman came in with a dog and Ruby calls the dog the same word they were saying when they were pointing at me, "gae, gae, gae".
- Cosmo Kramer: Ya know, maybe in Korea, dog isn't an insult. It could be like the word fox to us. 'Oh, she's a dog.'
- George Costanza: [Bette Midler is up to bat and George is playing catcher] I caught that Beaches on cable last night. 'Wind beneath my wings'? Give me a break.
- Bette Midler: Hey, get some talent, then you can mouth off.
- Elaine Benes: I'm so sorry. I don't even know where I'm going.
- J. Peterman: That's the best way to get someplace you've never been.
- J. Peterman: That's a nice jacket.
- Elaine Benes: Oh, thanks.
- J. Peterman: Very soft, huge button flaps, cargo pockets, draw string waist, deep bi-swing vents in the back, perfect for jumping into a gondola.
- Elaine Benes: Wow. How do you know all that?
- J. Peterman: That's my coat.
- Elaine Benes: You mean...?
- J. Peterman: Yes, I'm J. Peterman.
- Jerry Seinfeld: [Gennice just received a telegram] What is it?
- Gennice: My grandmother died.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Gennice: Oh no, it's okay. I'm fine.
- [crumples telegram and throws it in the trash can]
- Jerry Seinfeld: So you don't care when your grandmother dies, but a hot dog makes you lose control?
- Jerry Seinfeld: You met J. Peterman?
- Elaine Benes: Yeah.
- Jerry Seinfeld: What is he like?
- Elaine Benes: He wore a classic horseman's duster, beige corduroy collar, 100% cotton canvas, high waist, 9 pockets, 6 on the outside. Great for running along side a train, waving last goodbyes, posing on a veranda,
- [Jerry waves goodbye and turns to leave]
- Elaine Benes: men's sizes...
- Jerry Seinfeld: I'll see ya later.
- Elaine Benes: Small, medium, large, XL...
- J. Peterman: I like that shirt. Where did you get it?
- Elaine Benes: Oh, this innocent looking shirt has something which isn't innocent at all. Touchability. Heavy, silky Italian cotton, with a fine almost terrycloth-like feeling. Five button placket, relaxed fit. innocence and mayhem at once.
- J. Peterman: That's not bad!