The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart vs. Lisa vs. 3rd Grade (2002)

Harry Shearer: Animal Survivor' Announcer, 'Touch the Stove Announcer, Ned Flanders, Tom Brokaw, Principal Skinner, Otto, Hillbilly

Quotes 

• Bart Simpson : [the third grade kids are driving on the school bus to Capital City. Bart looks bored, but then sees a red Volkswagen Beetle out the window]  Punch Buggy red!

  [Bart punches Lisa] 

  Lisa Simpson : Oww! You are such an immature...

  [Lisa sees a white Volkswagen Beetle] 

  Lisa Simpson : Punch Buggy white!

  [Lisa punches Bart] 

  Bart Simpson : Oww!

  Audrey McConnell : [to Lisa and Bart]  Stop fighting!

  Lisa Simpson : [pointing at Bart]  He started it! He did Punch Buggy first!

  Dakota : [looking over at Bart and Lisa]  What's "Punch Buggy"?

  Bart Simpson : [explaining to Dakota how to play]  When you see a Volkswagen Bug, you punch someone and yell the colour.

  [all the third graders look over at all the Volkswagen Beetles and gasp] 

  Kevin : [punches blow on the bus]  Punch Buggy blue!

  Kid #2 : Punch Buggy green!

  [punches blow on the bus] 

  Kid #3 : Punch Buggy taupe!

  [punches blow and the kids groan] 

  Otto : Two for flinching!

  [two punches blow and the kids groan] 

• Principal Skinner : If this episode has taught us anything, it's that nothing works better than the status quo. Bart, you're promoted back to the fourth grade.

  Bart Simpson : Yeah!

  Principal Skinner : And Lisa, you have a choice. You may continue to be challenged in third grade, or return to second grade and be merely a big fish in a little pond.

  Lisa Simpson : Big fish! Big fish!

• Principal Skinner : Lisa, because of your outstanding score on yesterday's big test... you're being immediately moved up to the third grade.

  Bart Simpson : She's not so great, she got diarrhea when we went to Carlsbad Caverns.

  [the students start laughing at Bart's comment] 

  Principal Skinner : [shouts]  Okay, Bart!, since you like attention so much, I have a second announcement, I was going to tell you this privately, but because of your incredibly low test score, we're sending you back to third grade.

  [the students all laugh at Bart]