The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart vs. Lisa vs. 3rd Grade (2002)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lisa Simpson : Bart, you're my big brother. You should act like it more often. You know, protect me from the bad things in the world.

  Bart Simpson : As far as nerdy little sisters go, you're the coolest.

  Lisa Simpson : Thanks, Bart.

  Bart Simpson : And I'm sorry I sabotaged your flag.

  Lisa Simpson : I'm sorry I got us lost out here.

  Bart Simpson : Oh! And I'm sorry I sawed the heads of your Malibu Stacy dolls. Okay, now you go.

  Lisa Simpson : I don't think I've done anything else.

  Bart Simpson : Okay, I'll go again. Remember when your bike was mangled by "gypsies"?

  Lisa Simpson : Yes?

  Bart Simpson : Yeah, funny story. One day I was really bored, and Dad had left a steamroller idling in the driveway...

• Bart Simpson : [the third grade kids are driving on the school bus to Capital City. Bart looks bored, but then sees a red Volkswagen Beetle out the window]  Punch Buggy red!

  [Bart punches Lisa] 

  Lisa Simpson : Oww! You are such an immature...

  [Lisa sees a white Volkswagen Beetle] 

  Lisa Simpson : Punch Buggy white!

  [Lisa punches Bart] 

  Bart Simpson : Oww!

  Audrey McConnell : [to Lisa and Bart]  Stop fighting!

  Lisa Simpson : [pointing at Bart]  He started it! He did Punch Buggy first!

  Dakota : [looking over at Bart and Lisa]  What's "Punch Buggy"?

  Bart Simpson : [explaining to Dakota how to play]  When you see a Volkswagen Bug, you punch someone and yell the colour.

  [all the third graders look over at all the Volkswagen Beetles and gasp] 

  Kevin : [punches blow on the bus]  Punch Buggy blue!

  Kid #2 : Punch Buggy green!

  [punches blow on the bus] 

  Kid #3 : Punch Buggy taupe!

  [punches blow and the kids groan] 

  Otto : Two for flinching!

  [two punches blow and the kids groan] 

• Principal Skinner : If this episode has taught us anything, it's that nothing works better than the status quo. Bart, you're promoted back to the fourth grade.

  Bart Simpson : Yeah!

  Principal Skinner : And Lisa, you have a choice. You may continue to be challenged in third grade, or return to second grade and be merely a big fish in a little pond.

  Lisa Simpson : Big fish! Big fish!