- Lisa Simpson: Bart, you're my big brother. You should act like it more often. You know, protect me from the bad things in the world.
- Bart Simpson: As far as nerdy little sisters go, you're the coolest.
- Lisa Simpson: Thanks, Bart.
- Bart Simpson: And I'm sorry I sabotaged your flag.
- Lisa Simpson: I'm sorry I got us lost out here.
- Bart Simpson: Oh! And I'm sorry I sawed the heads of your Malibu Stacy dolls. Okay, now you go.
- Lisa Simpson: I don't think I've done anything else.
- Bart Simpson: Okay, I'll go again. Remember when your bike was mangled by "gypsies"?
- Lisa Simpson: Yes?
- Bart Simpson: Yeah, funny story. One day I was really bored, and Dad had left a steamroller idling in the driveway...
- Bart Simpson: [the third grade kids are driving on the school bus to Capital City. Bart looks bored, but then sees a red Volkswagen Beetle out the window] Punch Buggy red!
- [Bart punches Lisa]
- Lisa Simpson: Oww! You are such an immature...
- [Lisa sees a white Volkswagen Beetle]
- Lisa Simpson: Punch Buggy white!
- [Lisa punches Bart]
- Bart Simpson: Oww!
- Audrey McConnell: [to Lisa and Bart] Stop fighting!
- Lisa Simpson: [pointing at Bart] He started it! He did Punch Buggy first!
- Dakota: [looking over at Bart and Lisa] What's "Punch Buggy"?
- Bart Simpson: [explaining to Dakota how to play] When you see a Volkswagen Bug, you punch someone and yell the colour.
- [all the third graders look over at all the Volkswagen Beetles and gasp]
- Kevin: [punches blow on the bus] Punch Buggy blue!
- Kid #2: Punch Buggy green!
- [punches blow on the bus]
- Kid #3: Punch Buggy taupe!
- [punches blow and the kids groan]
- Otto: Two for flinching!
- [two punches blow and the kids groan]
- Principal Skinner: If this episode has taught us anything, it's that nothing works better than the status quo. Bart, you're promoted back to the fourth grade.
- Bart Simpson: Yeah!
- Principal Skinner: And Lisa, you have a choice. You may continue to be challenged in third grade, or return to second grade and be merely a big fish in a little pond.
- Lisa Simpson: Big fish! Big fish!
- Principal Skinner: Lisa, because of your outstanding score on yesterday's big test... you're being immediately moved up to the third grade.
- Bart Simpson: She's not so great, she got diarrhea when we went to Carlsbad Caverns.
- [the students start laughing at Bart's comment]
- Principal Skinner: [shouts] Okay, Bart!, since you like attention so much, I have a second announcement, I was going to tell you this privately, but because of your incredibly low test score, we're sending you back to third grade.
- [the students all laugh at Bart]