The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Mysterious Voyage of Our Homer (1997)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Mayor Quimby, Barney, Krusty

Quotes 

• Coyote : [v.o]  Find your soul mate, Homer.

  Homer Simpson : But where? Where?

  Coyote : [v.o]  I'm just your memory. I can't give you any new information.

• Homer Simpson : I hope I didn't brain my damage.

• Homer : Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.

• Homer Simpson : We're so different! It's like you're from Venus!

  Marge Simpson : And you're from Mars.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, sure, give *me* the one with all the monsters!

• Homer Simpson : In your face, space coyote!

• Homer Simpson : [notices the sun rising and setting according to how he walks]  Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Sunrisesunsetsunrisesunsetsunrisesuns-

  [He accidentally breaks the sun] 

  Homer Simpson : AAAHH! Note to self: stop doing anything.

• Coyote : I speak of a deeper wisdom. The problem, Homer, is that the mind is always chattering away with a thousand thoughts at once.

  Homer Simpson : Yeah, that's me all right.

  [gets a glazed look in his eyes as the wind blows his two hair strands] 

  Coyote : Clarity is the path to inner peace.

  Homer Simpson : Well, what should I do? Should I meditate? Should I get rid of all my possessions?

  Coyote : [snorts]  Are you kidding? If anything, you should get *more* possessions. You don't even have a computer.

• [Homer is on the phone, looking for a soul mate in the personal ads] 

  Homer Simpson : Hello, is this GBM? You wrote in the personals that you're looking for a soul mate. Well, I also like rainy days and movies.

  [pause] 

  Homer Simpson : No, I don't like *that*.

  [pause] 

  Homer Simpson : Or that. It's not that I'm afraid...

  [hastily] 

  Homer Simpson : I'm going to hang up now, bye!

  [hangs up the phone] 

• Homer Simpson : [runs screaming into a field] 

  Ralph Wiggum : Hey, Mister!

  Otto : Let him go, Ralph. He knows what he's doing.

• Homer Simpson : [sits down on top of the huge pyramid]  I hate this place! WHY AM I HERE?

  Coyote : [voice only]  You are on a quest for knowledge.

  Homer Simpson : Who said that?

  [the Moon turns around revealing itself to be an eye, Saturn flies next to the eye and becomes a second eye. The large red face of a Space Coyote appears in the sky, smiles at Homer and moves down to the top of the pyramid] 

  Coyote : Fear not Homer. I am your spirit guide.

  Homer Simpson : Hiya.

• Homer Simpson : Huh? Golf course? Did I dream that whole thing? Maybe the desert was just this sand trap. Oh, and I bet that crazy pyramid was just the pro shop.

  [the pro shop is on top of a giant pyramid, as well] 

  Homer Simpson : And that talking coyote was really just a talking dog.

  Talking Dog : Hi, Homer. Find your soulmate.

  Homer Simpson : Hey, wait a minute! There's no such thing as a talking dog!

  Talking Dog : [barks] 

  Homer Simpson : Damn straight!

• Coyote : I speak of a deeper wisdom. The problem, Homer, is that the mind is always chattering away with a thousand thoughts at once.

  Homer Simpson : Yeah, that's me all right.

  [gets a glazed look in his eyes as the wind blows his two hair strands] 

  Coyote : Clarity is the path to inner peace.

  Homer Simpson : Well, what should I do? Should I meditate? Should I get rid of all my possessions?

  Coyote : [snorts]  Are you kidding? If anything, you should get *more* possessions. You don't even have a computer.

• [the coyote growls and starts chewing on Homer's leg] 

  Homer Simpson : Hey! Knock it off!

  [Homer kicks the coyote off his leg] 

  Coyote : Sorry. I am a coyote.

• Homer Simpson : What's that smell? Chilli? Chilli powder? It's chilli! Oh my! It's the chilli cook off! I'm missing the cook off! It's going on right now and I'm missing it!

• Homer Simpson : [seriously]  Gimme some inner peace or I'll mop the floor with ya!

  Coyote : Good. Your mind is in a state of readiness, so listen well: To make yourself complete, you must find your Soulmate.

  Homer Simpson : Soulmate?

  Coyote : Your kindred spirit. The one with whom you share an unspoken bond, a profound, mystical understanding.