The Simpsons (TV Series)

Missionary: Impossible (2000)

Harry Shearer: PBS Announcer, Reverend Lovejoy, Fred Rogers, Pilot, Qtoktok, Lenny, Montgomery Burns

Quotes 

• Homer : [runs into church]  Sanctuary. Sanctuary.

  Rev. Lovejoy : Oh, why did I teach him that word?

• Mr. Burns : Simpson. I've been reviewing your performance record, and it is appalling. It says here that you caused 17 meltdowns.

  Bart : I'm not Homer Simpson.

  Mr. Burns : I know who Homer Simpson is. Not only that, but you also sold plutonium to the Iraqis... with no mark-up.

• Fred Rogers : It's a beautiful day... to KICK YOUR ASS!

• [first lines] 

  PBS Announcer : You're watching PBS.

  [Cut to the Thames opening logo] 

  Bart Simpson : YOU'RE watching PBS?

  Homer : Hey, I'm as surprised as you, but I've stumbled upon the most delicious British sitcom.

  Bart Simpson : [seeing the title]  "Do Shut Up"?

  Homer : It's about a hard-drinking yet loving family of soccer hooligans. If they're not having a go with a bird, they're having a row with a wanker.

  Bart Simpson : Cheeky.

• Homer : [asking Reverend Lovejoy to hide him from PBS]  Please help me. I'll do anything. I'll light a candle. I'll help with your next charity scam.

  Rev. Lovejoy : The word is "drive."

  Homer : Sure, sure. Bob's your uncle. Let's just get out of here.

• Rev. Lovejoy : We'll send you someplace safe 'til the heat dies down.

  Homer : Great, but why am I on a plane?

  Rev. Lovejoy : Homer, how would you like to be a missionary in the South Pacific?

  Homer : South Pacific? I didn't agree to...

  [Lovejoy shuts the hatch, and the plane takes off] 

  Homer : [running to the cockpit]  Wa-wait! I'm no missionary. I don't even believe in Jebus.

• Marge : So, you said on the phone you had something to tell me?

  Rev. Lovejoy : Hmm? Oh, yes. Your husband's in Microatia.

  Lisa : Microatia? That's 12,000 miles away.

  Rev. Lovejoy : Uh-huh. He needed to get away for a while. I suggested missionary work, and he jumped at the idea.

  Marge : Missionary work?

  Bart : He's dead, isn't he?

  Rev. Lovejoy : No, no. You can even keep in touch with him on this ham radio.

  Homer : [over the radio]  Jebus, where are you? Homer to Jebus.

  [disappointed groan] 

  Homer : Ohh...